Although I celebrated Mother's Day last year while pregnant with Colton, this year was my true first Mother's Day and I loved every minute of it. Being a mother is a life changing experience that no one can fully prepare you for. It is amazing, it is challenging, it is a test of patience, it is an indescribable love!Yesterday I reflected back on the past 7 months of motherhood and I thought back to the 1st night in the hospital with Colton. He cried the entire night. The only time he didn't cry was when he was held upright on mine or Chad's chest and since neither of us had slept in 24 hours it was exhausting. It made me feel almost helpless but I knew I would do anything for my baby. For heaven's sake, I couldn't even fathom sending him to the nursery so I could sleep and heal from my C-section. Night 2 had to be better but it wasn't! As soon as the evening came and Chad and I were ready for bed, Colton was ready to scream and cry. I remember thinking before he was born that a mother's touch would be natural and that I would naturally be able to soothe my baby. But, boy was I wrong! He cried and cried which lead to me crying and Chad having a hysterical wife and baby. Why couldn't I console the baby that had been in my stomach for 9 months??? I felt so helpless and almost like a failure. Seven months later I realize that I had to learn that mother's touch and today I'm 100% confident that when Colton looks in my eyes that he loves me like no other. He is turning into quite the momma's boy and those nights in the hospital seem like a distant memory.
Mother's day is also a reminder of the amazing woman in my life who loved me more than I will ever know. She has been gone now 11 years and I miss her everyday. What I wouldn't give for her to meet Colton. But I know through her I learned how to be an amazing mom and I know she would be proud of me. My mom taught me that as a mother you never think twice or blink an eye about making a sacrifice for your child and no matter what the sacrifice you get pleasure doing it. That's your job and that's what makes you happy!
I also reflect on the person I was pre-mommyhood. I always had close to perfectly highlighted hair, it was washed & blow-dried daily, my nails were always manicured, my house was close to perfectly organized, my car stayed clean, I kept this blog up to date, I was able to multi-task a
nd get almost anything done and while I do an okay job now the old me would be appalled with my sloppiness and imperfections! Nowadays if it doesn't get done and the time was spent playing with Colton or rocking him for a nap or taking him for a walk, I'm okay with that. He is growing so fast and soon enough he will be in school and I will have time to do all those things that used to be so important to me. Don't get me wrong, there are definitely some super moms out there that manage it all and I applaud them and want to be them. But I realize there are many times I just need to "let it go" and I try not to let my strive for perfection get in the way of seizing the moment as a mom!Lastly, I want to give credit to my husband for helping me to be a great mother. I'm pretty sure that without him I would struggle.
I hope all the mommies and mommies-to-be had a beautiful Mother's day! xoxo
And here is a link to the pics I uploaded on FB this morning: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2501366&id=6230200&l=13548103c2
