The search for a church (why is it so intimidating?!)

Chad and I grew up going to church and both profess to be Christians, however since we've lived in Denver we've never found a church to attend. There are lots of reasons for this ranging from lack of knowledge about churches in Denver to just being too lazy. No reason is good though. Over a year ago we started our mission to find a church and we sadly only visited two churches before we got busy and let another year pass before we visited any others. We know how blessed we are and we believe it is through God we are so blessed so our mission to find a place we belong has started again.

Unlike back home, there isn't a church on every corner. We've actually had to go online and Google and research churches to attend. The past two weekends we've attended two great churches but we're not sure we fit in at either place so our quest continues. I don't know why but attending a new church is personally one of the most intimidating things I've ever done. Here are just a few examples of why:

• Dressy or Casual. The 1st time we went to a church in Denver we got dressed up just as we would to a Sunday service in the south to find that Denver does things much more casual and jeans are perfectly acceptable. We don't want to assume jeans are acceptable at every church in Denver so there is a fine line between being too causal and too dressed up...you will definitely stand out as the "visitor" one way or the other.
  
• Name tags. We've attended some churches where name tags are at the front doors. Surely they are for the visitors, right?! We don't want to stand out like a visitor so we don't pick up a name tag and low and behold everyone has them on but us. Lesson learned, get a name tag.
  
• Where do we sit? In the south you could easily sit in someone's regular seat if you aren't careful and no one wants that, so Chad and I have the quiet debate as we walk in the church and down the aisle about the perfect place to sit.
  
• Introduce yourself to thy neighbor. This is always a tricky part of the service. Are they going to ask all new people to stand? Do you stand if they do? Do you let your neighbor know you are new? At a recent visit all regulars said "May peace be with you" and it wasn't until the 3rd person or so I figured this out. I just feels awkward even though I know that it shouldn't.
  
• To communion or not. Enough said.
  
• To fill out the visitor card or not. I realize that many churches want to reach out and recruit new members but I'm not sure I need every church we attend calling us or stopping by. Is that rude of me? And in a big city do they even do that?

At the church we visited last Sunday, I finally realized (a light blub moment for me) that it is okay to be a "visitor" and not know what you are doing. My realization happened when we walked in some back doors and didn't know where we were going and immediately admitted that we were new to the greeters. Immediately people were so nice (not that they weren't friendly when we walked through the doors) and showed us around and took the time to really talk to us and tell us about their church and why they love it. I don't know why it has taken me so long to be comfortable with this, I'm sure it is my own insecurities.

As we visit different churches, we are starting to form some better ideas of what is important to us in a church, pastor and congregation and where we are going to fit in best. I pray we will find a place we will can call "our church" sooner than later.

To be continued...